This kind of sucks

I don’t know where else to write this.  But, I know that when I’m feeling frustrated or sad or overwhelmed with almost any emotion, writing is the best way for me to deal with how I feel.  So, I’ll write here.  I get this compulsive need to write from my dad.  He’ll get it.

This is HARD.  Leaving Sydney is so f**king hard.  We’re happy here. Incredibly happy.  Our daughter is happy here.  This is literally all she knows.  And it’s SO good.  Our lives here are wonderful.  We don’t have a house, we drive a fairly old car, we don’t have fancy clothes or shoes or toys.  But, we can travel.  We have playgroups and parks and beaches (oh, the beaches!) and friends.

Y’all.  We have the most incredible friends.  Georgia has the most wonderful group of little friends and most of their parents are our big friends and they are uniformly deeply good people.  When you’re an expat you have to find people to fill the gaps left by not being near family.  And, whilst we miss our family almost painfully and are literally moving around the world to be with them right now, the family of friends that we’ve got here is significant and special and have helped us get through these first three years of parenthood.  I cannot overstate the importance of these people in our lives.

We didn’t plan this.  In early 2005, when Andy got a job offer from KPMG in Sydney, we assumed we’d come over, have a two year adventure and go back home to lives that we knew.  Now, eleven years later, THIS is the life that we know.  And sometimes moving home scares the absolute crap out of me.

But.  But, our families.  I get short of breath when I think about how much I miss them.  How happy Georgia is when she’s playing with her cousins.  I literally CRAVE camping trips with my brother and baseball games with my dad and my father-in-law’s bad jokes and good banana pudding.

So, we pack.  And we sell furniture.  And we ship boxes and we say goodbye.  And it will all be ok.  I know it will.  But, right now, in our apartment with 75% of the furniture missing, with dinner in the oven and Spring rain falling outside, it hurts like hell.

3 thoughts on “This kind of sucks

  1. I am so sorry. I wish I could whisk you into an incredible future with a cozy home near Andy’s work and an hour from us…. Into a Friday evening of cooking and puzzling…. Into a child-free weekend…. Into an easy relationship with a peer…..but, as you have probably already figured out, mamas can’t fix everything. I can only hope for strength, peace, and happiness for your precious little family…. And pray that you find it all here near us. We love you.

  2. Ahhh dear SarahKate I am so sorry about how you are feeling now. I know that feeling too well and so do you. I can imagine this time will be more difficult! You two are the most adventurous parents I have ever met and I am sure Georgia will appreciate it later on. She is making friends all over the world. And who knows you might come back! One will never know! Don’t be too hard on yourself. Enjoy these days. Many hugs and kisses

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